Sexless Marriage doesn’t have a hard and fast definition, but the term itself pretty much says it all. Some say less than 10 times a year qualifies, others say it’s no sex at all for 12 months. Whatever the definition, you get the gist, and it’s more common than you might think. The generally accepted statistic is that roughly 15 to 20 percent of all marriages are sexless, or go for long periods with no sexual activity. We know from Google that sexless marriage is top of mind — in 2019 searches for 'sexless relationship' were second only to searches for ‘abusive relationship.’
What may surprise you is this: contrary to our general sense of the way the world works, Google searches also show that it’s actually more often straight men who don't want to have sex than the women who are disinterested. Or at the very least, it’s women who much more often search “why won’t he have sex with me?” than men do. W
hat do we make of all these facts? And for those of us who find ourselves in this situation, what’s the path out? Can it ever change? How does one stop months from becoming years? Are you a terrible person for not wanting to sleep with your partner? Is he/she? Should you break up?
Most of us need sex or sexual stimulation of some sort. It’s practically like air and water. It’s good for us. Physical intimacy activates neurotransmitters that impact our brain health, and other benefits of sex include better sleep, improved self-esteem, lower blood pressure, decreased depression and anxiety, overall stress reduction, and, hugely important, increased intimacy and closeness to our partners, which makes everything feel good. So why isn’t everyone in a long-term relationship doing it??
Here’s a list of the most common causes: